The Hidden Cost of Low Trust: Why the People Who Care Most Often End Up Carrying Everyone Else’s Backpack

A few years ago, I was speaking with someone who was exhausted.

Not because they lacked capability.

Not because they lacked motivation.

Not because they didn’t care.

In fact, they cared more than most.

They were the person everyone relied on.

The person who stepped up.

The person who fixed things.

The person who held standards.

The person people trusted.

As we talked, they said something that stopped me.

“I feel like I’m carrying everyone else’s backpack.”

The more we unpacked it, the more accurate the metaphor became.

Their backpack wasn’t full of their work.

It was full of things that belonged to other people.

Problems leadership hadn’t addressed.

Conversations managers hadn’t had.

Standards colleagues weren’t maintaining.

Responsibilities nobody wanted to own.

And because they cared, they picked them up.

One by one.

Until they were carrying far more than their share.

What they were experiencing is something I see surprisingly often in low-trust environments.

Not disengagement.

Over-engagement.

The Myth About Low Trust

One of the biggest myths about low-trust workplaces is that people stop caring.

In my experience, that’s rarely what happens first.

The people who care most often work harder.

They compensate.

They solve.

They rescue.

They absorb.

They become the unofficial shock absorbers of the organisation.

For a while, this works.

Deadlines are met.

Problems get solved.

Customers are looked after.

Teams keep functioning.

From the outside, everything appears fine.

But underneath, something dangerous is happening.

The organisation is quietly teaching its most capable people that whenever something falls down, they will pick it up.

And eventually their backpack becomes too heavy.

The Trust Tax Nobody Talks About

Most organisations understand the cost of turnover.

Few understand the cost of what I call the Trust Tax.

The Trust Tax is the extra energy required to operate in an environment where trust has begun to erode.

It shows up as:

• Double-checking information because you’re unsure what’s accurate.
• Replaying conversations after meetings.
• Managing personalities instead of solving problems.
• Working around issues rather than addressing them.
• Carrying concerns that should belong to leadership.
• Constantly asking yourself whether it’s worth speaking up.

The workload hasn’t necessarily increased.

But the psychological load has.

And your brain doesn’t particularly care which one is exhausting you.

The Trap High Performers Fall Into

The people most vulnerable to this aren’t usually underperformers.

They’re often the opposite.

People with strong work ethic.

Strong accountability.

Strong values.

The trap begins when responsibility slowly turns into ownership.

You start telling yourself:

“If I don’t do it, nobody will.”

“If I don’t step in, this will fall apart.”

“Someone has to care.”

At first, these thoughts feel responsible.

Over time, they become expensive.

Because responsibility without authority eventually becomes frustration.

And frustration carried long enough often becomes exhaustion.

Why Organisations Lose Their Best People First

One of the biggest misconceptions about low-trust workplaces is that the first people to leave are the least committed.

In my experience, it’s often the opposite.

The people who leave first are frequently the ones who cared the most.

The ones who:

• Took ownership.
• Held high standards.
• Went the extra mile.
• Tried to improve things.
• Invested in their colleagues.
• Believed in the mission.

For years, they carried extra backpacks.

Until one day they realised something.

The organisation had become dependent on their compensation.

Not their contribution.

That’s an important distinction.

Contribution helps organisations grow.

Compensation helps organisations avoid dealing with problems.

Eventually these people begin asking themselves:

“How long can I keep carrying what isn’t mine?”

“When does responsibility become self-sacrifice?”

“What would happen if I put these backpacks down?”

Some quietly disengage.

Others quietly leave.

Ironically, organisations are often shocked when this happens.

“We never saw it coming.”

But the resignation usually started long before the resignation letter.

The resignation began the moment someone realised their effort was no longer creating progress.

Only compensation.

A Question Worth Reflecting On

Are you becoming more energised by your contribution?

Or more exhausted by your compensation?

Because low trust rarely costs organisations their worst people.

More often, it costs them the very people they can least afford to lose.

The Exercise That Changes Everything

Whenever I work with someone caught in this cycle, I ask them to draw three circles.

Circle 1: What You Control

Your effort.

Your behaviour.

Your professionalism.

Your communication.

Your boundaries.

Your integrity.

Your work.

This is your backpack.

Carry it well.

Circle 2: What You Influence

Relationships.

Conversations.

Team dynamics.

Psychological safety.

The example you set.

The trust you build around you.

You can’t carry these for others.

But you can influence them.

Circle 3: What You Must Accept

Leadership decisions.

Organisational politics.

Other people’s accountability.

Structural issues beyond your authority.

This is where most exhausted high performers spend their energy.

Trying to carry backpacks that were never theirs.

Acceptance isn’t agreement.

Acceptance isn’t giving up.

It’s recognising reality.

Because you cannot solve a problem you don’t own.

And many capable people spend years trying.

The Question That Changes Everything

When trust is low, most people ask:

“How do I fix this?”

A better question is:

“What part of this is actually mine to carry?”

That question changes everything.

Because the moment you separate:

• What you control,
• What you influence,
• And what you must accept,

your energy starts returning.

Not because the environment magically improves.

But because your effort becomes aligned with reality.

Before You Start Another Week

Take a piece of paper.

Write down every frustration currently occupying your mind at work.

Every concern.

Every irritation.

Every unresolved issue.

Then ask:

Which of these belongs in my backpack?

You may discover that much of what is draining you isn’t your work.

It’s the weight of responsibilities you’ve been carrying on behalf of others.

And that is an important distinction.

Because some of the most capable people I meet aren’t exhausted from doing their job.

They’re exhausted from carrying jobs that were never theirs to begin with.

🧠 Neuro Nugget

Your brain is constantly asking:

“Can I influence this?”

When we repeatedly invest energy into situations we cannot control or meaningfully influence, stress rises and motivation falls.

One of the fastest ways to regain clarity isn’t doing more.

It’s becoming clearer about what is actually yours to carry.

Final Reflection

Imagine putting down every backpack that doesn’t belong to you.

Not forever.

Just for a week.

What would you finally have the energy to do with the weight you’ve been carrying?

The answer may tell you exactly where your attention needs to go next.